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The 13th Step? Question: I have heard people refer to "The 13th Step" or "13th Stepping." What does it mean or refer to? Answer: Typically "The 13th Step" is used as a derogatory term which loosely refers to "hitting on newcomers." Most commonly it is used to refer to men who have several years of sobriety that make a habit of trying to date or take advantage of women new to A.A. (but is not always limited to men). "13th-stepping" is a way of describing predatory behavior which takes advantage of the emotional instability of newcomers to A.A. - those who are "pretty mangled" by emotional trauma before they get to the fellowship that they hope offers a safe harbor. One definition of Step 13 is to say that it involves adding Step 1 to Step 12, ignoring the rest; "My life is unmanageable and I want to share it with you!" |
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